So, I'm writing a book and, yes, I am writing a book! It's been a dream of mine for five years now and I'm going to see that dream through if it kills me. It won't. However, not writing it might. It will certainly create regret in me and most recovering alcoholics don't handle regret well. At all. That aside, I'm having a terribly difficult time getting it started. I seem to let anything and everything get in the way of it. I get busy with life and the longer I stay sober the busier life gets. I start questioning my abilities, the importance of sharing my story, the amount of self-disclosure necessary and, certainly, my motives (like a good AAer), the last of which being a very good thing. Thank You, God. I am so deeply grateful that something, anything, is sinking in.
In December 2016, while I was visiting Josh in Los Angeles, I'd mentioned to him this very thing. That I was struggling getting started on the book and really didn't know where to begin. That I wanted it to be fun and unique, personal, and written in a way that would be a tad different than the same old story that I had published 5-1/4 years ago. Of course, the facts would remain the same but the framing of it needs to be fresh, fun, inviting. I mean, let's be honest, it's a grim story. I've had far more years in captivity than in freedom. In fact, really, I'm only just beginning to live in any semblance of freedom, free from the ties that bind. Haha, I thought for the longest that it was just alcohol!
Just before going on that trip to California, I attended a book-signing at Books-A-Million in the mall. I didn't even need the book that was being signed. I already had it, signed. I just wanted to see the author since she is very near and dear to my heart. I arrived early and browsed the store. I do love a bookstore! I purchased one thing: A Mother's Legacy, Your Life Story in Your Own Words, and thought, that's it! I will write it to my boys, framed inside of a mother's love letter to her children, a legacy, a keepsake, a heritage. And, We will begin on Page 1 and see what unfolds. "We" meaning God and I because, in my opinion, nothing worth writing nor living, for that matter, begins nor ends without Him. But, that's just me.
"The beauty of the written word
is that it can be held
close to the heart
and read over and over again."
--- Florence Littauer