"Everything That You Need"

I remember a very early morning in late April 2015.  Snuggled up in a nice, warm bed and safe, finally, I was awakened by a steady pouring rain right outside the window.  It was still pitch dark.  My first thought was a flood of extreme gratitude to God for, yet again, saving me from myself.  As I gently clasped my hands beneath my chin, I began to pray in a quiet, whispered desperation, almost in a chant, "God, please help me stay sober.  God, please help me stay sober.  God, please help me stay sober."  Over and over again.  Somewhere in that prayer, deep down inside the core of my being, I heard these words, quite distinctly, "Gay, My darling, I have given you everything that you need to stay sober.  I have already equipped you with all of the tools for your journey.  You need simply to pick them up and put them into ACTION.  This is YOUR journey, Gay.  You must WALK IT OUT.  Do not fear.  I will be with you."

I became acutely aware in those moments that I was not only responsible for the success of my recovery but for the failure of it as well.  That God had, indeed, provided me with everything that I needed and would continue to provide for me throughout the journey.  The kicker was ... I had to do my part (and still do!), to the best of my ability, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, left foot, right foot, don't drink no matter what ...  Oh boy!  So far, to this day, four whole years later, that prayer has been faithfully answered on a daily basis and I have absolutely no reason to believe that it will not continue to be answered in the future, as long as I do my part.

Some days are as easy as Sunday morning and other days are like, "You'd better get your war paint on, Gay, because THIS IS WAR!"  Haha, thankfully, today, I have lots and lots of PAINT and, on most days, I can put it on all by myself.  Yet, on some days, I have to ask another warrior to help me.  Annnd, guess what???  God has provided me with an abundance of those as well! 

It hasn't been the easiest of times.  This life is not easy and change is sometimes painful.  However, it has been the best of times, EVER.  Thank You, God!!

4 Years Down --- Forever to Go.


"Get up!  Pick up your mat and walk."  ---Jesus    John 5:1-14


"The reason 'help' is such a great prayer is because God is the gift of desperation.  When you're in despair, you're teachable."  ---Anne Lamott

Dedicated to the One I Love

These are my original publications for the LPM Blog.  They are a significant part of my story and remain so dear to my heart that I still, at times, have difficulty sharing them.  I know, however, that there is someone out there who needs some hope.  A friend once told me this:  "Its not the problem that's the problem.  Its hiding the problem that's the problem." I'm not hiding.  You don't have to either, whether its you that you're concerned about or a family member or dear friend.  If I can come out of the darkness and recover, my friends, anyone can!  With a whole lot of help from ... the One I love.  

Installment #1:  http://blog.lproof.org/2012/01/meet-my-sister.html

Installment #2:  http://blog.lproof.org/2012/01/my-sister-gays-second-installment-the-functioning-years.html

Installment #3:  http://blog.lproof.org/2012/02/my-sister-gays-third-installment-the-maelstrom.html

 

Installment #4:  http://blog.lproof.org/2012/02/my-sister-gays-fourth-installment-like-sunlight-burning-at-midnight.html

 

Installment #5:  http://blog.lproof.org/2012/02/my-sister-gays-fifth-installment-stepping-out-on-the-water.html

Installment #6:  http://blog.lproof.org/2012/03/my-sister-gays-6th-installment-out-of-7-a-different-street.html

Installment #7:  http://blog.lproof.org/2012/03/my-sister-gays-final-installment-jesus-saves.html


Hope.  Everyone needs some.